In his message to the public last Friday, Tiger Woods said that he engaged in extra-marital affairs because he had been led by success, money, and fame to a point where he believed he was entitled to do whatever he wanted. In a strange way, it is similar to the comments made by John Edwards and Eliot Spitzer when they acknowledged extra-marital encounters. Which is to say that we are becoming too familiar with these situations.
But Tiger Woods' reference to a sense of entitlement is worth noting. There is so much truth in it that it is scary. His acknowledgment of this flaw is a result of reflection and therapeutic direction around an issue which plagues many people in public life. The glamor and prestige factors create a mindset that defies a normal application of the brakes when temptations are plentiful.
The media jumped all over this admission of an entitlement factor, and it was scrutinized and analyzed extensively by talk show hosts and their guest experts. Articles, editorials and op-ed pieces in the print media were filled with criticism and analysis, as well.
It was ironic, therefore, on Friday, when the press cried, screamed, and stomped their feet when Tiger excluded them from the event in which he disclosed his acknowledgments of wrong-doing and apologized to those who were damaged by them. If there was ever a good example of entitlement it was in their rage and ranting. "They had a right" to be present,they claimed, to ask questions, and to confront Tiger Woods. He "owed it to them."
Really? I don't think so. Tiger Woods is in therapy. As one stage in his twelve-step therapeutic model, it was important to acknowledge his errors and to apologize to those harmed by them. In twelve-step therapy it is understood that this is one of the most difficult things a person will have to do to get to the point of health. It is not the same thing as having a dialogue with those to whom apologies are given. In some cases, the persons who have been harmed may refuse to allow the apology to be expressed. That, in itself, can be devastating.
That is not to say that a time will not come when such dialogue is possible. In fact, it is to be expected that a prominent person like Tiger Woods will want to do that. But not now. He doesn't owe the press...or anyone...the right to decide where he is in his therapy. This is not about committing professional suicide, it is about trying to get healthy.
The press is good at demanding "rights" to which they believe they are entitled. Pushing a camera in the face of a bereaved family member, the loser of a tournament, or the victim of a crime seems to be okay in the minds of the press. We in America have our own style of paparazzi, it seems. The assumed "contract" they have with the public is about disclosure of privately-held information, the revelation of secrets, and the invasion of private and family locations. That's a contract I've never signed, and I suspect I'm not the only one who feels that way.
In this case, Tiger deserves the right to invest in therapy without the interference of the press. There will be plenty of time down the road for interviews and press conferences. He is right to honor a schedule of therapy, and he is entitled to the privacy that requires.
Definition source: Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc.
Cartoon Credit: http://www.slate.com/id/2218277/
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