COLD: the absence of heat

My wife and I have a running issue over the definition of the word cold. I have to admit that the one I have given in the title to this posting is my own, based upon what I have claimed is a technical explanation for why we experience cold. I don't know how much weight it would hold in a scientific debate, but it wins our humorous disagreement from time to time.

The fact is that there are lots of definitions for the word. Writers of newspaper articles keep suggesting that there are hundreds of words in the Inuit language for differing meanings of cold. Maybe. In American English I can attest to the fact that its meaning varies, depending upon the circumstances. Here is just a sampling:

* Cold: a noun defining a brief illness (hopefully) in which your nose runs, your head aches, your chest aches, and you feel like crap.

* Cold: an adjective which describes what it feels like in August when you sit in an Applebee's Restaurant wearing summer clothes and the air conditioning is cranking.

* Cold: the look on Nancy Pelosi's face when a Republican Member of Congress shouts out "You lied!" during a President's speech.

* Cold: your luke-warm coffee when someone stops by your table to tell you an extended story about something that you could care less about.

* Cold: Andy Rautins (very, very rarely) when he can't hit a three point shot for Syracuse University.

* Cold: Three-term Republicans blaming the current administration for a bloated annual budget because it includes the cost of two running wars in the accounting.

* Cold: Tiger's personal credibility among intelligent women.

* Cold: The tile floor in our shower when you are the first one to use it in the morning.

* Cold: That feeling that runs down your spine when you sort the mail and see a personal letter from the IRS.

* Cold: What you feel when you sit in front of your computer ready to write a blog posting and your mind is blank.

And of course: Cold: the temperature in your foyer when you open the door and let the heat escape into the frigid outdoors. (Or, as my wife would say, "When you open the door and let the frigid air into the house.")

*** Cold: The stare my wife gives me when I claim I won the point.

Whatever....

Graphic Credit: www.enter.net/~skimmer/coldwater.html