Alcoholics Anonymous® is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
I had a dream tonight. It seems like the dream went on all night long, although I'm told that's unlikely. It seemed as if I was supposed to make my dream the topic of today's posting, but I've spent the past hour trying hard to reject it. There are lots of political issues swirling around out there, needing to be written about. Ultimately, I lost. Here is my dream.
An AA meeting is taking place in an Episcopal Church in a snowy Connecticut village. It's a pretty little church, and...it's a pretty large AA gathering. A man stands and says, "Hi, I'm Jim, and I'm an alcoholic." He then proceeds to tell the group that 14 years ago he was travelling through this town on his way to Boston. It, too, was a snowy night. He found himself in front of this church and realized that there was a crowd of people headed into the parish house. He followed them in and settled into a chair, only then discovering that he was in an AA meeting. He never had been to one before.
After listening to the testimonies for a few minutes he found himself on his feet facing the group. He began to speak. "Hi, my name is Jim. I have never said this before...but I'm an alcoholic." In the current meeting, Jim goes on to describe the response he had from the group that night 14 years ago and how it became the springboard for his sobriety. That was 14 years ago today. He now lives in Phoenix, Arizona. He wanted to come back to the meeting in this town to say 'thank you' for being there for him 14 years ago. It had been the best 14 years of his life.
My dream then takes a twist. A second man stands up and walks to the front of the hall. He looks at the crowd for a few moments and then says, "Hi, my name is Herm. It's strange, but I, too, came to this meeting 14 years ago on that same snowy night. I, too, never had attended an AA meeting, mainly because I don't drink. But that night, 14 years ago I stumbled into this meeting, not having anything to do in a small, snowy village in Connecticut where I was stranded.
I was a sales representative for a computerized personal sewing machine company, and I couldn't bear the thought of spending the evening alone. When I saw a crowd gathering here at St. Michael's Church, I followed them in. I'm Jewish, but for some reason I felt compelled to be here. It was a transforming experience.
I heard people talking about drinking and how it was ruining their lives. They couldn't beat it alone, so they came here to get help. As I said, I didn't drink...never had. But I was a compulsive, difficult person who made life miserable for people around me. My wife and children left me because I was so intolerant of them. As I listened, I saw myself in the stories being told. I started attending AA meetings that night, and have continued to do so for 14 years. I regained my family and eventually became the President of my company.
For several weeks now I have had the urge to come back here tonight to say 'Thank You' for being here 14 years ago. I'm grateful for your hospitality and your grace. As I started to say, 'My name is Herm, and I'm a compulsive person.'"
And then, in my dream, a third person stood and moved to the front of the meeting. She stood awkwardly at the podium, and then, in a shaky voice said, "Hello, my name is Margaret. I'm addicted to prescription drugs. I'm an addict."
Margaret then went on to say that it was weird, but that she, too, was in this meeting 14 years ago tonight. She was in town visiting her niece and went out for a walk in the beautiful snow. She walked by St. Michael's Church and saw a crowd of people inside the warm parish house. She was cold, so she opened the door and stepped in just to get warm before continuing her walk.
But as she listened to the testimonies of the people attending the meeting, she began to weep. She knew that her addiction to prescription drugs was killing her, and that she had lost her "real self" more than a year previously. Now she had become a person who couldn't function without her drugs. The addiction had stolen her humor, her creativity, and her zest for life. She didn't stand up in front of the group that night 14 years earlier, but she did make a promise to herself to overcome her addiction. She has been attending AA and Narcotics Anonymous meetings regularly for the past 14 years. This past year she was elected State Senator in her home state and knew that it would have been impossible without her having become a recovering addict. She wanted to come back these 14 years later to say "Thank You" and to assure the people there that AA had saved her life.
That was my dream. It didn't go anyplace. I'm not an alcoholic. I'm somewhat compulsive about some things, but they are more irritating and humorous than debilitating. And I'm not addicted to prescription drugs. The dream wasn't about me...specifically. But in a sense it was. It was a mirror being held up in front of me. I'm going to spend some time processing this dream...maybe even talk to someone who's good at that. I think there's a message in it for me.
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