EUPHEMISM: a word or phrase used in place of a term that might be considered too direct, harsh, unpleasant or offensive. (Encarta)

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The use of euphemisms can be seen as a polite thing, sparing friends with sensitive ears from the use of profanity. Or, it can be seen as a demeaning thing, treating the friend as naïve or immature, incapable of participating fully in the expression of the story as the teller intends it. Either way, it is a method used by speakers or writers to substitute a seemingly-tamer word (or words) for profanity or a theme which is sensitive.

There is another use of euphemisms, however, which serves a very different purpose. It is characterized by the use of substitute words for a theme which is uncomfortable or awkward, not necessarily profane. My primary example of this is the use of euphemisms to express death. For some reason or other, some people cannot bring themselves to use the word dead. For whatever reason, they find it necessary to seek out less jarring, or less graphic terms, such as “passed away, passed on, went to be with the Lord,” or similar silly words and phrases.

I have been doing a casual study for several years, looking at the language used in the writing of obituaries. (Don’t even bother to comment that this is a weird hobby.) Some larger, metropolitan newspapers have professional writers who prepare obits, but in more local, non-metropolitan settings, the obituaries may be written by a stringer or sloughed off to a lower-grade reporter. The differences are fascinating.

In the Pittsburgh, PA, newspaper I was reading last week the writer used the term “passed away” almost without exception. There were variations on the term, but it was only in occasional obits that I found the word “died.” Clearly, the loved ones of the deceased in those cases had either written their own obituaries or insisted upon the language. I found myself envisioning the reporter and wondering what his or her problem was.

Lately I have found such comments as “Jesus came and carried Louise to heaven” and “Gabriel’s trumpet welcomed Gerald into Paradise on Wednesday.” There is a humorous side to the use of these euphemistic phrases; there is also a disconcerting side.

The use of a euphemism instead of the word died indicates to me that there is a level of discomfort on the part of the writer. Either died is too cold, too final, or too negative, or perhaps the person has experienced the death of a loved one in recent times, leaving a scar on the surface which is protected by the use of a euphemism.

When I was in High School a friend was killed in a diving accident. I remember being at his home on the night of the wake when a nun from his elementary school entered. She meant well, I assume, when she said to Jack’s mother, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Oh, Sister,” said Jack’s mother. “Jack isn’t lost. I know exactly where he is.” I thought to myself at the time that Jack’s mother’s theology trumped that of the nun.

It is this same kind of thing that happens when we use euphemisms as substitutes for the word death. Bad theology lives in the land of euphemism.